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From the Question Box Sunday, the second question is True or False: to change the world, we must first change ourselves?

Why? (Or Why not?)

So, in my mind, the answer to this question is yes and no.  The ubiquitous “they” say that “you are what you eat” and I say that we create what we are.  When I think about the acts of cruelty that seem to be so often in the news, happening lately, I think that, in anger, confusion, and any number of other mistaken and badly mingled inner and outer realities, these people act out in the world the tragic and brutal turmoil in their hearts and minds.
let me be clear — I am not saying that we create our own reality – that’s another post altogether.  I am saying that our exterior actions speak of our inner realities.  Of course, there are people whose actions are changed or controlled by disease, injury, physical challenge, or the conditions around them, who are limited by the resources at their disposal.  But even so — some of the people who have inspired me at different times in my life seem undaunted by what seem like overwhelming limitations.

One that comes to mind is Mattie Stepanek — I found him and his work quite by accident a few years ago.  He lived only 14 years and during that time struggled with a genetic disease — Dysautonomic Mitochondrial Myopathy.  He died on June 22, 2004 due to complications from his disease.

On his website it describes the challenges of his illness this way: “Like his siblings, Mattie needed a wheelchair, ventilator, oxygen, monitors, medicines and spent a significant amount of time living in Pediatric Intensive Care Units.”  But Mattie was a soul determined to make the most of his time here. He wrote 7 books, went on speaking engagements, and spoke out about peace — bringing him into contact with world leaders – and (above) Oprah Winfrey.

After September 11, 2001 Mattie wrote this poem:

For Our World

We need to stop.
Just stop.
Stop for a moment.
Before anybody
Says or does anything
That may hurt anyone else.
We need to be silent.
Just silent.
Silent for a moment.
Before we forever lose
The blessing of songs
That grow in our hearts.
We need to notice.
Just notice.
Notice for a moment.
Before the future slips away
Into ashes and dust of humility.
Stop, be silent, and notice.
In so many ways, we are the same.
Our differences are unique treasures.
We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts
To nurture, to offer, to accept.
We need to be.
Just be.
Be for a moment.
Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting,
Like children and lambs,
Never judging or vengeful
Like the judging and vengeful.
And now, let us pray,
Differently, yet together,
Before there is no earth, no life,
No chance for peace.

September 11, 2001

Wise words for an 11 year old boy.  But what he says is true — we have to stop and take stock within ourselves and make sure that there is some peace within, love within, sense of fairness within, before we march out to “save the world.”  Too often “revolutions” are lead by people whose intentions may begin as yearnings for a just and good world — but, as a result of seeing the problems outside themselves only and not knowing their own inner landscape, demons, whatever, end up simply producing a new version — a new variation of the very injustice they wanted to eradicate.

I think about the many thousands of people that the great Zen Buddhist teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh has taught and changed.  Because he has cultivated peace within himself, he is a credible teacher of peace. When you learn from him you know that this is not someone who has had it easy so he can talk about peace from a comfortable armchair.  Instead, he has faced guns and war and terrible injustice and remained a spirit of peace. So no matter how heated up things may get or people may be around him, he is able to remain balanced, true to his message and intentions. He would mostly agree, I think, with what Mattie wrote here

Just Peace: A Message of Hope (AMP, 2006), Mattie J.T. Stepanek wrote the following: “There is a gentle quietness to peace. Relinquishing anger and tightfistedness brings a calming acceptance and resilience. Peace is something that feels good when we recognize and realize it inside of us. And, we can feel the goodness of peace when we are selfless and reconciled with others, and when we are considerate and careful with the earth…. Peace is possible, because peace begins with an attitude, and an attitude is a choice.” — Mattie J.T. Stepanek

So I do think that we must change ourselves.  I mean, too, if we can’t change ourselves — which are the only selves we have any real control over — what hope do we have to inspire anyone else to change?

At the very same time — we can’t wait to be fully enlightened Buddhist teachers before going out into the world. It’ll get to hell in that hand basket way too fast if we simply gaze at our navels and leave the work up to “them.” Instead, we need to know ourselves, hold ourselves accountable, have people around us we can trust to also hold us accountable and work, learn, and grow at the same time.  Our best learning happens in relationship anyway — so waiting for perfect enlightenment will only keep us from those relationships and interactions.

The challenge of addressing racism in our society is a perfect example of this problem.  So often white people (I’m one) mean well — and head into work for racial justice unaware of the ways that the things that we say, the ways that we act impact and injure people of color.

Here is a sampling of micro aggressions collected by the University of Minnesota School of Public Health, that people of color hear on a startlingly regular basis.  I am sure that no one reading this blog has ever said or done any of these things.